How Do I Know If I'm Being Ghosted?
I wanted to make a joke about getting ghosted, but there have been enough sad tales about being ghosted that prevented me from doing so.
You’ll notice similar patterns and signs that you’re about to be ghosted. While we’re on the topic, ghosting has become more frequent recently and with that in mind, let me share a little story with you.
During the early days of COVID-19, when online dating became more rampant than how it was before, like any other young single adult, I went on a quest to find people to talk to, and besides, it was a way to socialize.
With the maximum amount of like-backs, no one really maintained a good conversation.
I know what you’re thinking, “you’re in a dating app; of course, you won’t find a decent conversation.”
But that was the thing; it was easy to find people available online. What I didn’t weigh in on was that these people could suddenly just up and leave.
More or less people have experienced the same thing as I did, but what exactly did you notice?
Keep reading; maybe you might’ve done something similar to what I did if you’re in that situation right now where you’re being ghosted or notice signs that they are about to ghost you.
#1 LACK OF INTEREST
Let me be real with you; why do we invest our time towards someone who isn’t even showing interest or effort in getting to know us or not wanting to know about your day.
People who are genuinely interested and would want to invest time with you are the people who are showing interest in getting to know you.
If you’ve been talking to this person for quite a while, and suddenly, they just stop showing interest in you, it is already a sign. Honey, leave.
The most crucial part of being intimate with someone is deciding whether or not to invest in a relationship, especially when you’re still at the stage where you’re getting to know each other.
Wouldn’t you love it when someone focuses their attention on you when you’re sharing something that made you sad or happy?
You’d want to share a little bit more because you’d know that person wouldn’t disregard what you have to say!
#2 BAILS ON YOU AND YOUR PLANS
If he wasn’t the type of person to bail on you during the past, and suddenly he’s the busiest man in the world, fitting everyone and everything he needs to do in his schedule except the dates and plans he had with you would obviously be a huge sign.
I mean, the sudden change without any explanation, nor did he want to explain why he was suddenly out of reach most of the time. So it’s kind of like you need to schedule a month or a year in advance to get a little bit of his time.
What’s worse is when he wouldn’t have the decency to say he can’t make it until you’re already there at the call or the place where you’re supposed to meet up.
I can understand if you’re quite hopeful that maybe, just maybe, he forgot, or he had gotten busy with work. But, honey, you know in your heart that a tiny part of you knows he won’t be there.
#3 ALWAYS MAKING THE FIRST MOVE
Typically, guys initiate the first move and the first conversations, but girls can also start conversations and make the first move with the evolving world.
But there comes the point where the guy stops responding, or if he does respond, he just sends 1-2 word replies.
How would you be able to continue a conversation with just the word “okay”?
Do you get what I mean?
Stop chasing after them while they give minimal effort.
I understand that you’re scared that you might lose him forever if you stop trying, BUT someone out there will give you the same energy you are providing.
#4 MAKING EXCUSES FOR HIM
“He’s probably busy at work. Maybe he really is having trouble with the family. Or maybe he was just having a bad day.”
After hearing all these excuses, we try to convince ourselves that everything he has said is true.
Once we’re in love, we lose all control over our rational thoughts, and we make excuses for the person we’re attracted to when all our friends have noticed the clear signs because we see them in rose-colored glasses.
Like in the movie, you should really stop making excuses for him because you're doing it in an effort to escape the one basic and obvious truth - he's just not that into you. As painful as this is going to sound, you should really stop making excuses for him.
#5 GHOSTED BEFORE, GHOSTED AGAIN.
It’s kind of difficult to actually believe that when the person who ghosted you comes back, he’s back for good.
It’s kind of like that statement, “once a cheater, always a cheater.”
But in this case, “once a ghoster, always a ghoster.”
I mean, the person who doesn’t have the decency to tell you that they no longer want to talk to you nor continue the relationship the first time is definitely not going to have the common decency to do it the second time.
#6 “I’M NOT LOOKING FOR ANYTHING SERIOUS”
Oh honey, no matter what you’re going to do, if he says he’s not looking for anything serious, then honey, he isn’t looking for anything serious.
It’s not your responsibility to convince him, nor is it your responsibility to make him commit to a relationship.
Don’t take this statement lightly, and it doesn’t mean that you won’t find anyone else. If he’s a man who wants to invest his time in a relationship with you, he would. However, you should never expect that you’d be the one to change his mind.
I mean, take that as an indication that he’s not “serious” enough to want to be with you, which means that it would be so easy to ghost you.
Lastly, if you think that the person you’re talking to has 3 or all of the signs, then honey, get up and go, but instead of ghosting, don’t forget to tell him that this isn’t working for you.
Because boo, you’re a whole life’s love, not just someone’s ⅛ life crisis.
Words: Jan of Life Sutra
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