How To Get Out Of The Friendzone?
It always starts the same way, meeting a girl or talking to her endlessly for hours; she’s laughing at your jokes or ranting personal problems to you. At some point, it might’ve felt like she’s into you, and right when you think you can share your feelings and make a move, she says, “I think we should be friends.”
I mean, being friends is okay, but it would’ve been the best to take a step up and date them or, better yet, be in a relationship with them. But alas, how difficult it is to be stuck in the “friend zone.”
It gets a lot more difficult even to make a move to step up from that zone.
How to get out of the friend zone, and why are the girls you always like the ones that just want to be friends with you?
Doesn’t that confuse you?
But let’s get this straight, you’re probably in the friend zone because:
- They don’t want to hurt your feelings.
- They literally see you as a friend.
- They can’t handle rejection.
- Or possibly that they don’t see you as a romantic partner but would still want you in their life.
As a girl myself, I’ll let you in on a few secrets on getting out of a friend zone and into a relationship.
SECRET # 1: Do not be desperate!
Believe it or not, girls actually notice when you’re getting desperate. Now, what exactly do I mean?
Have you ever noticed yourself initiating EVERY text message, phone call, or even hang out? Or what if you’re trying to always rush into wanting to be in a relationship with them? I get that you’d want the momentum going, but let’s face it. She’s taking days to reply to you, or worst-case scenario - not replying at all.
As much as your heart wants to run after her and get her attention before some other guy on a horse wipes her off her feet, you should really slow down and take things slow. You don’t need to be desperate for someone you love to love you back; that’s just going to creep them out and drive them away.
SECRET # 2: Distance yourself.
You start rambling on and on about your undying love for her, but then she starts avoiding you, starts canceling plans, and possibly ghosting you.
Unfortunately, unlike movies, professing your undying love can lead to tragedy, and wanting to be with them 24/7, especially when they don’t feel the same with you, will make things super awkward.
You cannot force someone to reciprocate your feelings or spend time with you. You have to understand that you need to give them space, especially when you’ve dropped the bomb.
As difficult as it seems, it really is best to distance yourself for a while instead of being there at every beck and call.
SECRET # 3: Don’t overthink things!
“I really like spending time with you.”
“I’m comfortable around you.”
“I feel like I can tell you anything.”
A simple phrase can definitely make your head twirl, especially when it’s from her!
Although it can be quite difficult for overthinkers not to overthink a simple action or even the things they say, as much as possible, you shouldn’t add more meaning to the words they say.
I had a massive crush on this guy before, and when he finally told me that he liked me (in a very platonic way), I had started overthinking his words. I eventually had to ask his intentions and what he really meant.
To my dismay, my overthinking just made me hopeful.
Sometimes when people just really say a certain thing, you really shouldn’t overthink what they meant. It can be as simple as that.
SECRET # 4: Get them to invest!
You’ve been the only one investing time, effort, and often - money into this “relationship” without even knowing that it wasn’t a relationship at all.
I have to admit, as human as we are when we love or even like someone, we do everything to please them, to let them appreciate us, even if it means that we need to move mountains for them.
What we don’t realize is that we’ve invested so much for them without noticing that (as sad as this sounds) it has been one-sided.
I can exactly tell you how they should invest in you but look back at the other secrets I’ve told you.
Don’t be an open book too, get them to figure you out. Being mysterious will let them keep thinking about you during the day. And you really shouldn’t force yourself to love everything they love; that would just make things boring.
Keep them on their feet or at the edge of their seat when they try to know you more. That’s honestly one of the best ways to get out of the friendzone.
SECRET # 5: Be clear about your intentions!
“I want a _____________”
It’s as easy as that.
Instead of throwing or getting mixed signals, why not be clear about your intentions towards one another. Then, you can’t keep guessing whether or not if this was to lead to a relationship.
You’ve seen countless movies, right?!
Where the lead character specifically tells the one they love that this is what they wanted in the first place. Of course, you don’t need to run to the airport or cry out to them under the heavy rain to tell them that.
And please don’t text or send them a “DM.” Instead, tell them in person or a video call (especially with the restrictions and protocols of the pandemic).
You’re just going to overthink or assume their replies, and honestly, that wouldn’t even be healthy.
Now I’ve given you a few secrets from a female perspective, but even with these secrets, the right person will appreciate and love you even if you can get quite clingy or if you want to spend hours with them. Although not to get your hopes up, there is a certain percentage of getting out of the friendzone, so good luck!
DATING CONNECT : Master the Art of Dating
Communication is hard when you are dating someone new. There are no relevant references to make points with the person you want to talk about.
Dates consist of talking about trivia. And then many awkward moments happen. You haven't had enough time for real self-reflection, let alone reading the other person's intentions. The buildup of anxiety forces another date on you just to get rid of an uncomfortable situation.
Dating Connect card game will help you both have fun conversations that help you learn more about each other without having to search a library or wait for a relatable sitcom episode to come out while you still sit in your living room.