“It’s a match!”
Dating apps (tinder, bumble, grindr, her, etc) are all the rage, especially during this pandemic. Talking to a hottie would feel like playing tennis in an ideal world, but in reality, they’ll likely avoid or drop the ball.
So now, how do I reply or start a conversation?
Difficult right? Unless you’re extroverted.
Of course, if you’ve reached out to your match many times and haven’t received a response, it’s definitely time to look for another match.
But, there are ways to bring out your inner extrovert. First, of course, you deserve someone who wants to hear about your day or even those weird achievements. But unfortunately, you can’t always rely on dating app chat starters to keep the conversation going.
First impressions are everything! Not only in your personal life and career but also the dating world. It’s already difficult to paint ourselves in the best possible light when talking to someone in real life; what more in dating apps.
If you don’t know how to start talking to your new match but are worried about the back and forth, why don’t we explore different approaches?
KEEP IT SIMPLE
I remembered that one message I sent to my boyfriend when I met him through a dating app a few years ago. All I said was “Hola,” and who would’ve thought that that first move had caught his attention.
You don’t have to overthink what you need to say first. What you have to consider is just to be yourself. Weird or not. The right person will appreciate you reaching out first without having to rack their brains into what to reply next.
USE SOMETHING FROM THEIR PROFILE
Most dating apps have placed weird, witty, and personal things on their dating profiles, and you could use them!
You could even compliment them about their picture with their dog, the picture about the clothes they wore. Now I don’t mean that you have to approach them as if you’re objectifying them. A simple “you look good in that dress.”
A compliment and being able to notice something from their profile and their pictures go a long way. Just don’t be like Sherlock. I understand that there will be certain things that you see that aren’t visible to everyone. You can either use them or not. Just don’t be like the FBI because that will really make them comfortable, and they’d feel as if they’re stalked.
AVOID CLOSE-ENDED QUESTIONS
When we match someone w,e automatically want to find common ground with them instead of the usual.
“How are you?”
Now isn’t that boring?
Most people want stimulating conversations (and no, I don’t necessarily mean sexually), more like having conversations such as really wanting to know who they are, letting the conversation flow easily.
Be playful! Be flirty!
But not to the point where you make them feel uncomfortable.
A simple “Hey there, I got a challenge for you. Let’s see who can make each other smile brighter.”
Messages where you don’t add sexual remarks go a long way.
“Aren’t you tired? You’ve been running through my mind a lot recently.”
Oh, how I’d feel butterflies in my stomach if I’d get a message like that. Especially when you’ve been talking quite a while already, you’ll have a lot of chances where you can send them a pick-up line during their stressful days.
Now I don’t mean using this on an everyday basis. Instead, it would be a fun conversation starter during some days of the week, or especially the first time you’ve started talking.
DON’T BE CREEPY!
Don’t come on too strong, meaning sending lewd jokes or innuendos, because that is honestly a huge turn-off. I mean, who’d want to keep talking about those things instead of having a meaningful conversation.
You shouldn’t lower your values or your worth when someone starts doing that. You deserve someone who honestly respects you.
Also, stay away from those who send nude pictures or even use them as their display pictures.
As much as possible, tell them your intentions and why you’re in this dating app. May it be to hook up, find someone to talk to, or even find someone who could sing their heart out while being on a drive.
Wouldn’t you want to know as early as possible before investing your time with someone who doesn’t really want to know you more?
DATING CONNECT : Master the Art of Dating
Communication is hard when you are dating someone new. There are no relevant references to make points with the person you want to talk about.
Dates consist of talking about trivia. And then many awkward moments happen. You haven't had enough time for real self-reflection, let alone reading the other person's intentions. The buildup of anxiety forces another date on you just to get rid of an uncomfortable situation.
Dating Connect card game will help you both have fun conversations that help you learn more about each other without having to search a library or wait for a relatable sitcom episode to come out while you still sit in your living room.