There are 2 basic emotions that are generally expected out of a romantic relationship, and oftentimes we take them for granted.
What do I mean?
I mean when we give too much of ourselves and do not receive the same amount of love or affection that they are giving us. You know, the bare minimum.
And even when relationships are already difficult to understand, feelings are kind of like a roller coaster ride. I’m 100% sure you’ve even experienced this. Have you ever liked someone for a while, and suddenly your feelings just went away? Or maybe even you’ve always wanted to be in a relationship with this one guy, and when you are, you just kind of start losing interest or stop making the effort?
It doesn’t necessarily mean that you must’ve said something or did something to make him lose interest (yeah, we’re overthinking again). But like in every relationship advice blog, the early stages of romance are kind of unstable.
What I mean is that at one point, all the romantic excitement just dies down, or that honeymoon phase just stops, and then they’d just start losing attention.
That probably leads us to do something crazy just to try and reignite that spark/fire.
This is a pretty common situation to be in.
This is why you probably ended up reading this blog.
But, I have to ask. What do you want to do? How do you try to win back his attention?
You have those answers probably locked and loaded, or maybe you have no answers at all. There are no guarantees, but here are a few ways that you could do that you could encourage him to look your way again.
#1: GIVE HIM SPACE
One reason, according to a friend of mine, a guy starts losing interest when you’re orbiting around him every minute of the day. You don’t have to be up in his face and personal space 24/7.
I mean, I get it.
When I had a boyfriend before, I used to lean on him more than focusing on my own growth or even working for my own dreams. I used to only wait for him and have the same conversations over and over again.
As difficult as that was for me, I eventually learned that in order to keep the relationship, you have to work on yourself, and he has to work on himself too.
And when you do give him space, all he has is his own thoughts and feelings. He doesn’t feel the pressure from your expectations to act or be a certain way.
When you’ve finally given him that space, he might actually realize how much of an impact you have in his life. But this doesn’t always work out in your favor. Although don't worry, there are still a few strategies that can help you get back his attention.
#2: LEARN TO SPEAK HIS LOVE LANGUAGE
What exactly is a love language?
Now, if you search on google, it’s going to give you the exact meaning of it. About how a love language shows couples how to give each other love that it is best received.
They’re not wrong. That’s exactly what a love language is. Really.
BUT find out your love language and his love language.
I mean, imagine this, you’ve bought him gifts that remind you of him, but his love language is really just “words of affirmation.”
So, when you actually figure out what his love language is, you get to show your affection to what he needs, and when he feels loved, he’s more likely to shower you with the love and attention that you wanted or even deserved.
When you’re both unsure of the love language that you have you can always take the 30-second quiz by Dr. Chapman (fivelovelanguages.com).
#3: SCHEDULE DATE NIGHTS
I think a date night is an essential thing needed for a relationship, mainly because date nights are for spending time with your partner, and you know, enjoying each other's company.
May it be dinner at a restaurant, movie nights, or even playing card games together.
You read that right, and I know that life sutra’s dating connect has the best questions for you.
Unfortunately, it’s not the same as cards against humanity, but Dating Connect helps you appreciate each other while knowing what you both want in your relationship.
This might seem a little personal, but my boyfriend and I had already surpassed the so-called honeymoon stage and had definitely just lived our days like routines, so we had scheduled a date night every 30 minutes to an hour every Friday.
We would watch movies, and play games together (online or card games), just to remind each other that no matter how busy our day was, we always had something to do and talk about at the end of it.
#4: PAUSE AND PULL BACK
I bet this is probably the hardest thing to do especially when every fiber and nerve in your body is just screaming to run to him.
But as difficult as it is, don’t do it.
That’s most probably the worst strategy ever. I mean, think about it. When you start losing interest or not being as attentive to him as you used to, he just wants to give a little bit more of an effort. Guys are hella confusing, but I do believe that they do that because they’re afraid to lose you.
And although this is probably one of the hardest things you could do, don’t be too available to him or be all around him.
As cliché as this sounds, distance and absence does make the heart grow fonder. So let him chase you this time.
#5: DON’T LOSE YOURSELF
Yes, you read that right.
When we start loving someone, we try to please our partners and somehow lose the love we’ve built for ourselves.
Believe it or not, we’ve all gone through that.
We start to lose the time we need for ourselves or do the things that we used to love to do or even dress the way we used to love to dress, all because of love.
And it does get worse when we’re trying to win back their attention because unconsciously, we push back every logical thought and love we have for ourselves because we don't want to lose the one we love.