Things To Talk About On A First Date To Spark Connection
I bet you’ve had the same dilemma I had.
No matter how perfect your outfit or makeup is, it can still get pretty awkward during dates, especially first dates.
I went on this date a few years back, and he had picked me up from the house to go somewhere with a great view.
Now, this was the first time I was ever meeting this guy after we matched on tinder, so other than being nervous and scared if I was about to get murdered, I had to make sure I knew what I was getting into, especially since this was my first date.
The guy arrived with a black Civic at my house and took me to a place where we could see the city lights at night while having a mini picnic.
It sounds nice, like the typical date night stories that you read, but trust me, it was beyond awkward.
During the whole ride, we had stayed in complete yet awkward silence.
The ride was long, and it took an hour or two just to get there.
We tried to come up with things to talk about but after a few sentences the conversation just stops and the ride continues.
He was on his phone a lot too when we got to the place, and at one point, I thought maybe it was my fault, maybe I was too boring.
What I failed to realize then was that both of us had nothing prepared. We didn't want to sound like we were interrogating the other, so we just kept sitting there in awkward silence.
So before you go on that first date or any date for that matter, we’ve got just the thing for you!
Now just a little tip before the big date:
#1: *cue freaking out in the inside*
Now it’s quite alright to be nervous.
And although it’s a little scary or funny, be honest and admit to your date that you’re a little nervous.
More or less, they’re also going to admit that they’re also nervous.
This usually happens during the first date, but even if you’ve been dating for quite some time you always get those date jitters.
You know the kind where you are a little worried about your clothes or your make-up and sometimes even the scent of the perfume that you’re wearing.
I had a similar problem when I first met my boyfriend.
It’s one of the sweetest stories I could ever tell you.
It was a sunny afternoon, I just got to the city he lives in and I stayed downstairs at a restaurant from the Airbnb room.
We planned to meet at the restaurant since the Airbnb room was booked for the two of us.
Honestly, I was scared and nervous.
Mainly because it was the first time we saw each other physically, and I didn’t know what we would be like when we finally met.
I had played several scenarios in my head, trying to figure out what kind of scene would happen. The thought of him seeing me and walking away, running towards me like what you see in airports, or even casually walking up to me and hugging me.
The best thing about it was despite being so nervous, what happened was when he got near I hugged him and he hugged me back and I could feel his handshake a little and then felt a little relieved.
#2: always always remember their name!
I know it’s kind of funny, but if you’re the type to keep talking and easily forget names, then this is the very first reminder for you!
You wouldn't want to call your date a different name or even ask for his name two or more times, would you?
You can be a little playful or flirty, but always try to remember their name to avoid an awkward situation.
And it’s not just the name, but try not to confuse your date with someone else.
Especially when you’ve been dating for quite a while, you should remember the details about them.
I’ve had that instance where I accidentally mixed the details of the guy I was dating with the guy I was talking to.
It was honestly a little embarrassing, but the good thing about it was that he laughed about it.
#3: “What are your interests?”
Over the years, our interests have upgraded and changed, too, so dates are the best time to talk about your current interests.
May it be your new favorite books, songs, or hobbies that you might've picked up.
You could always talk about it, you never know that both of you could geek out to the same book, idol, tv series, or even song.
Now try to talk to them in a way where it isn’t like a checklist. Talking to someone when you’re aware of what you’re talking about is tricky because you get conscious.
#4: Give it a twist and play a game!
If you’re like me and you have no idea how to maintain a conversation then there’s this perfect game for you!
It’s called Dating Connect by Life Sutra!
It has over 220 conversation starters and self-empowerment cards to keep the conversation interesting.
Everyone loves a good game, and not only does it keep the conversation going, but this card game can also save you a lot of time from thinking about what to talk about and the best part about it is that through it you get to find out if you’re “end game.”
I’ve actually tried it with my boyfriend before he actually became my boyfriend. I was beyond awkward during our dates because we always ended up with nothing to talk about.
This game was the whole reason why I knew why I had to say yes to being in a relationship with my boyfriend.
There are times when you mess up, can't figure out why your date is really there, or misread the signs.
Dating Connect game has the answers to your questions. We've analyzed thousands of people's experiences with relationships and packaged them in a fun way that'll take you from the discovery stage all the way to the ever elusive and almost mythical ‘Happily Ever After'.
#5: “Is it your favorite movie?” “OMG, that’s my favorite movie too!”
If you’re a movie enthusiast like me you’d definitely love to talk about movies.
I mean, sometimes I’d love a good spoiler, and it’s hard to find someone to talk to about movies with.
I mean my boyfriend is a total geek when it comes to movies that include his favorite superheroes. I mean, we watched Batman together, and he had this code about the Riddler, and told me everything I needed to know, and even the Easter eggs in the movie.
It was one of the most genuine conversations I’ve ever had and I continue to have them because you’d actually know that this person has shown great interest in telling you the movies that they love about.
#6: Goals and ambitions
We reach for the life that we want and we aim for it through our own goals and ambitions.
I get that men find it scary to hear women who have big dreams, but the thing is the right man who shares the same purpose and goals will choose you.
Over the years, our own goals and ambitions will change over time, and to keep you both up to date. The main goal for relationships is to have the same end goal together, no matter the individual goals.
#7: How do they respond to you?
The most important thing to notice is the way he or she responds and listens to you.
You have to be a little observant in this part.
We wouldn't want to keep talking to someone who has shown that he doesn’t care nor if he’s listening.
The way a person responds to you including the tone of voice and the use of words is very important when it comes to how that person is invested in you.
Words: Jan of Life Sutra