“Trusting someone is like giving them a gun pointing directly at you and hoping they don’t pull the trigger.”
Even trusting someone may be tough, particularly if you've been through a lot in your previous relationships. However, there are steps you can take to build trust in your present relationship.
In a series of movies, you can observe that even couples or marriages that have had difficulty trusting their partners have created a great deal of miscommunication and conflict with one another.
We wrote this blog article just for you if you're not sure where to begin. Here are a few tips and experiences that I've had in the past that I believe will be of great help to you in your quest to develop trust in your relationships. I hope you find them helpful.
COMMUNICATE. COMMUNICATE. COMMUNICATE.
If you got that once, make sure you get it three times.
To establish trust in a relationship, you both must communicate openly and honestly.
That’s what most people lack when entering relationships because we’re too afraid to communicate with our partners. Instead, we expect them to guess what and how we feel at that moment, which we have to remind ourselves - our partners are not mind-readers.
Communicate your thoughts and feelings, BUT never approach them in a way where you are blaming or cornering your partner for making you feel that way. You have to actively listen to what they say instead of readying a speech about how they’re wrong or why they shouldn’t feel that way.
You should never invalidate your feelings or the feelings of your partners.
GIVING ASSURANCE
Like any other human being, we want comfort and assurance from the people we are in relationships with. As humans, we have an innate need to find security in the company of others with whom we share our deepest feelings.
Giving assurance is relatively easy. It’s showing it that’s difficult.
I mean, we’ve all had instances where we tell our partners to trust us when we’re outside with friends or over time. But, unfortunately, the more we keep reading and viewing people sharing their stories about their husbands or boyfriends, the more likely we will overthink such scenarios.
Even that short 2-minute call or a text message where you update your partner where you are or what you're doing could go a long way.
REMAINING TRUE TO YOUR WORD
Meaning you have to be open about your decisions, especially when it will affect the relationship.
Unless it’s to surprise your partner, boyfriend, or even your husband, you have to be true to whatever you’re telling them. That means, the decision to buy something for the household, like say for example a new sofa, or going out with your friends (especially when there is a person of the opposite sex with you) to gain and not lose their trust, you have to keep them on the loop. That means being honest with them and telling them the truth instead of finding ways to change the topic.
That’s just going to let them overthink a lot more.
ADMIT YOUR MISTAKES
I know that we don’t want our mistakes repeated back to us, especially when we don’t want to remember, but being in a trusting relationship means that we have to admit our mistakes and apologize that it might’ve hurt our partners.
It is normal to feel down when we commit a mistake and get reprimanded for it, but the essential thing is what you have to do after you’ve committed the mistake.
Did you act impulsively and yell back at your partner? Avoid them? Or even blamed them for pressure to which they didn’t even do?
You see, there is no perfect relationship. There will always be bumps and mistakes made, but in handling and admitting these mistakes, finding a solution to fix your mistakes will significantly help the trust in the relationship.
Why?
Because when we trust our partners, even when we make mistakes, we can trust them enough to know that we will no longer handle such mistakes alone.
AVOID DWELLING ON THE PAST
As much as we want to know about past relationships and past flings, wouldn’t that just hurt us?
Or make us unnecessarily jealous?
I mean, it’s okay to have that talk, but you shouldn’t keep dwelling on what they said. It’s in the past, and you can’t keep mentioning it just for the sake that you’re bothered by it.
You can talk to them, especially when what they did in the past has bothered you consecutively. Talk to them about it instead of handling it on your own. You might become passive-aggressive towards them, so keep going back to tip number 1.
Communicating about how you feel about their actions from the past, will be quite difficult at first, but if you’re comfortable enough with your partner to know and see a future with them, isn’t it going to be alright?
TAKE TIME TO HEAL FROM THE PAST
Although we are being introduced to social media dating platforms and websites to mingle in this day and age, it is relatively easy for other people to gain your trust and trick you.
It’s essential to take the time to recover from the pain in the past, especially when you’ve been through so much. Being single isn’t a curse; it’s a state of healing from the experiences you’ve had before proceeding to the next relationship.
Unfortunately, we can’t just jump from one person to another to fix something that has hurt us because we are putting a load of responsibility towards that person.
To gain trust over your partner, you have to heal from those experiences. Having doubts not only happens during the long duration of a relationship, but it also occurs during the first few dates.
Those thoughts about “what if he’s still in love with his ex?” or “maybe I’m just a rebound” will just keep haunting you, and you’ll have a more difficult time to let them go and stop overthinking.