Does He See a Future With You?
The end game.
Unfortunately, it’s not the Avengers endgame, but it is the “does he see a future with me?” bit.
If you’re looking for a long-term partner, and have been with someone for quite a while now, you’d start wondering if he sees a future with you.
Although it can be difficult to know what will happen in the future, relationships with uncertainties will surely make it bleaker.
And it's understandable that we start overthinking things especially when he’s serious (which is a story for another time). Although I cannot rid you of uncertainty and overthinking, but what I do have is a list of things that I can willingly share with you that made me understand how to read him if he was in it for the long run.
#1: ACTIONS = WORDS
I bet you've had and received empty promises at one point in your life. You know the kind of promises and words that you receive without any action being done, and unfortunately, actions aren’t louder than words because it’s supposed to be that a person's actions are matched with the words they are saying.
I mean, would you date someone who would say “I want to show you off” and yet doesn’t even hold hands in public because he’s not the “public display of affection” type?
It kind of feels off, right?
Although everyone can be different, and I’m not saying that all guys are like this because honestly, guys can be hella confusing, complicated, and hard to read.
I had this guy who told me that he saw a future with me, but never even took my hand in public because he was so afraid someone would see him, but my boyfriend now would hold my hand, kiss me, or hug me, or even stare at me in public even when I don’t ask him to.
Ladies, you need a guy who will reassure you and show you that you’re the only one in his view.
#2: The use of “OUR” and “WE” 💑
This is probably the most obvious sign that he wants a future with you, the way he talks about the future in the present just shows that you’re part of his plans.
But this isn’t always applied because some guys can even phrase “I want to get a house for us” without even putting in the effort but would say, "I want to be able to get a good career for us.”
As humans or even when we’ve been single for a long period of time, we’re often focused on ourselves maybe because of past experiences, some may even be guarded. Like what I mentioned in point 1 when he does use “our” and “we” in conversations, you have to make sure that he means it.
#3: HE IS AN OPEN BOOK 📖
In this day and age, it can be hard to find a guy who’s actually open about everything because even most of my guy friends have some parts of themselves closed off (with their own personal reasons).
But when he’s an open book with you, I mean, not only the superficial stuff BUT also those conversations you have that are deep and difficult that've only been shared with you. He would introduce you to his family and friends, and be able to call you his girlfriend in front of everyone.
I’ve had similar conversations with my boyfriend in the past because of my insecurities, and I personally was worried that there were some things he was afraid to open up about. A guy who actually sees a future with you will be willing to share some difficult conversations with you but reassures you at the same time.
#4: HE CONTINUES TO DATE YOU ♥
The main ingredient to a lasting relationship that most likely leads to a future together is the fact that you both continue to go on dates together despite the number of years you’ve been together.
Because dates are essential, it is a way of showing your partner that you have time to be with them, this is the time to be intimate with them, and to grow together in a relationship, you have to be in the same boat even if you have separate goals together.
Honestly, I’ve never been asked out on pure dates before by my boyfriend now, because of the culture now that you just meet and hook up (which isn’t my intention), I never understood the concept of dating other than in movies. But my boyfriend now makes sure to take me out on dates even if it’s just walking around, watching a movie, and playing dating connect, to make sure that I have time for myself and for us.
I know that over the years the chasing and the dating lessen, but never disregard it. You’ve built your relationship through that, and it should be honored and continued even when you’re married.
#5: HE CARES ABOUT WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO YOU FOR YOUR FUTURE
Most commonly when we enter relationships we start thinking about our relationship goals, and often forget about our own goals. But when a guy sees a future with you, he makes sure that you still aim for your goals too, and not just the goals of your relationship.
Although, even in stories, some individuals have a hard time pushing forward to their own goals like how Amy was worried about taking the Sergeant's exam because she was afraid of the change in her relationship with Jake (in the Netflix series - Brooklyn Nine-Nine). It can become difficult to make decisions especially when it might affect your relationship, but a guy who truly loves you, trusts you, and sees a future with you will push you to achieve your goals.
Note from the author:
Although this list can be quite helpful for those looking for signs of whether he sees a future with you or not, it should not be the basis for your relationship. There are certain aspects that you cannot disregard that may be completely different from your partner's beliefs and values, but even so, if he sees a future with you one main thing you could do is to have a heart to heart conversation with them (although, you can’t really do this when you’ve been dating for only a couple of days or weeks), but if you’re goal and intention is to be with someone in the long haul, you have to be able to have this conversation with them if they’re also on the same page.
Words: Jan of Life Sutra