Even the strongest relationships go through life-changing changes and challenges.
I mean, relationships are already so tricky, and building a happy and healthy relationship would take a lot of work from both ends plus, it’s not always easy.
You could be in cloud nine and feel alone in the relationship a few seconds later.
Things can constantly go wrong, and finding common ground can be quite impossible, but finding solutions and rescuing a struggling relationship isn’t so difficult.
Believe me, breaking up with them won’t fix anything. You’re just going to be scarred from the breakup, and you’ll end up bringing the insecurities from the previous relationship to the next one.
But there are ways and things to think about before completely calling it quits on your relationship.
Here are 9 tips to strengthen and save your relationship.
TIP # 1: Is your partner willing to put in the effort to save your relationship too?
This is probably the most critical thing to consider, especially when your relationship is at rock bottom. You cannot be the only one fighting to save it, because let’s face it, no matter what you do, if the other person is no longer willing to commit to making the relationship work, it’s just going to drain you out.
I had this friend who had a boyfriend she constantly argued with, and at one point, she admitted that it had already become suffocating for both of them. She frequently got jealous whenever the guy played games or talked to girls, and the guy would make insults and snarky comments about her insecurities.
I know, not the best example.
But the guy eventually broke it off with her; as hurtful as this may sound, she admitted that she was begging for him, kneeling on the floor just to let him reconsider his decisions. She was already tired from the get go when the guy started involving his mother in every fight they had. She had adjusted not only her timezone to his but had completely abandoned herself. She had continuously tried to make the relationship work and save it despite the comments that she constantly got, yet the guy just bottled it all up and left.
Happy relationships don’t just magically work - it requires effort and work.
TIP # 2: Schedule dates!
No matter how long you’re in a relationship, you still have to schedule those date nights.
Most of the time, relationships get into routine activities, and it gets challenging to rekindle the spark when you’re both comfortable at where you are.
As cliche as this may sound, even when you’re in a relationship, keep trying to win her over. You don’t need to make grand gestures; even the simplest romantic act like a movie night, a box of chocolates, flowers can get them know that they are appreciated.
Having a date with your partner ultimately increases your intimacy.
Relationships aren’t supposed to be a routine; there are still hundreds and thousands of things you don’t entirely know about your partner because we are growing as well.
TIP # 3: Listen and communicate.
We all want our partners to pay attention to what we have to say, making it difficult to really listen to one another since we are more concerned with asking them to pay attention to what we have to say.
Instead of keeping your feelings bottled up, try being more open about how you were feeling. You can’t always keep the solution to the problem a secret from your partner.
There are times when you can't be the one to solve the situation while also harboring a grudge. To avoid retaliation and cut them off, pay attention to what your spouse says and not interrupt them. Instead, wait for your turn to speak before responding.
TIP # 4: Give each other space for a while.
Every good relationship necessitates a period apart from each other from time to time. Giving ourselves space that is independent of our relationship helps us to keep our individuality while still being in a relationship. In addition, the ability to pay greater attention to our emotions is enhanced when we have physical space or uninterrupted time to ourselves.
Sometimes we need to spend some time apart from our relationships to figure out what we really need and how to best take care of ourselves. By allowing ourselves time to analyze and process our feelings, we lessen the risk of lashing out at our partners or using other bad communication tactics in our relationships.
As a whole, space allows us emotional clarity, the chance to attend to our needs, and a feeling of individuality that we can all benefit from.
TIP # 5: Do you still see a future with them?
Everyone says that the secret ingredient to a relationship has shared goals and dreams. Now, I'm not disregarding the importance of individual growth; nevertheless, to maintain a relationship, you must be fully committed to growth, individually and together.
Initially, entering and building a relationship requires having the same goal in mind for the future. Do you still have that same goal with everything that you’ve been through in that certain relationship you are in? Or is one already starting to let go?
Have an open talk with your partner and ask them whether or not they are still there for the long run, instead of assuming and getting your hopes up if your partner has already stopped aiming for that goal.
TIP # 6: Seek professional help
Marriage and Relationship counselors are real.
Just because you’re choosing to seek professional help doesn’t mean that your relationship is beyond fixing. Marriage and relationship counselors are there to be a mediator and to find common ground between you and your partner when it can be difficult for you both to do so.
Much like what we see in movies and tv series of a relationship coach or counselor, it’s usually them just listening to what you have to say and giving you both ample time to respond and to listen to what the other person has to say. Because at times, we’re so used to finding solutions immediately without actually communicating.
It has been proven that having the decision to seek professional help from marriage and relationship counselors has dramatically improved relationships only if both of you are open to the idea. But, again, we can’t force or push our partners to do something they aren’t willing to do.
TIP # 7: Let go.
I’m sorry, but it really is time to let go.
I get that you’ve built a past and possibly a life together. Still, suppose it is a relationship that hurts even to fix or is no longer fixable, especially when you or your partner no longer wants to continue. In that case, unfortunately, there isn’t any miracle that can mend the relationship back to how it used to be.
You’ve gone through so much together, and sometimes when you think you’ve come to a dead-end, it’s not wrong to let go in hopes that maybe, just maybe, you can fall back together again in the future.