If you’re a movie fanatic, then you’ve probably seen the movie “he’s just not that into you” which is the main idea for what I am about to tell you.
We’ve definitely been lied to believe that when a guy acts like a total jerk to us they have feelings for us. Now I’m guessing you’re also thinking maybe that was the reason why we stayed in toxic relationships or liked “bad boys” because we always thought that their actions meant that they loved us.
Oh, quite the twist.
But fear not, I am here, to be frank, and help you figure out the signs if he’s not into you.
#1: He’s just not that into you IF he’s not asking you out.
Naturally, girls assume EVERYTHING, and I do mean everything.
And as much as we like someone, we can’t just automatically assume that they also like us back to the point they’d want to date us. In this era, when we meet everyone off the internet or even in person, it is most likely that we aren’t the only ones they are talking to.
Unfortunate, am I right?
But even if you’ve called, texted, snapped, or even facetime for weeks or months on end, and he still is unsure about where he wants this to go, or if he’s not even giving you the same energy, or even if you’ve had intimate times (sex) together plus the fact that no matter how long you’ve known each other if he has not asked you to be his girlfriend or even asked you on a date to make it official, then he’s just not that into you!
His intentions are as clear as day, and if it’s not, then you’ve got to ask him rather than waste your time hoping and dreaming for a miracle that he asks you out. There are a lot of other guys who are probably way better than him for you, so don’t give up and keep swiping or talking to people.
#2: He’s just not that into you IF he’s only giving you the bare minimum.
I was never quite sure what the bare minimum meant before because there are all these stories about how their boyfriends treat someone this way but to other people he was only giving her the bare minimum, so what does this really mean?
Giving someone the bare minimum of yourself is exactly what it sounds like: you're merely giving them the bare minimum of yourself. The minimal minimum of your attention, effort, dedication, and emotions. It's about giving the smallest bit of oneself necessary to keep the other person engaged.
So if you’re the one CONSTANTLY messaging, asking him out, or even calling while he doesn’t answer or answers hours later, then he’s not into you.
You should receive the love that you give and want to receive. You know someone like Ryan Gosling in those romantic movies that we all love so much, I mean, look at the notebook. Someone who would willingly do things they want to do because they love us, the type of person who actually makes time, the person who is committed to you, and would spend time showing you how much he means to you. You know the ones you read in the love language definitions
#3: He’s just not that into you IF he only wants to meet up or see you when he’s drunk.
As much as you want to justify saying that they are more honest when they’re drunk, doesn’t mean that they are into you.
You don’t want to be with someone who only wants you when they’re drunk, I mean, it is pleasurable oftentimes but throughout the times that you do it, you’ll eventually seek that emotional connection with them.
The kind where you’d want to know about their life, meet their friends and family, be shown off on social media, and go on public dates that don’t always end with sex.
#4: He’s just not that into you IF he ghosts you.
This is already a given.
We’re always on the phone, so you really can’t make excuses about how they haven’t replied to you.
I remember that one time when I had the worst-case scenarios playing in my head when the guy I was talking to had gone to the hospital to visit his grandmother. I had sent him so many messages for a whole week, worried about what had happened.
Next thing I knew, he had gotten back with his ex.
So ladies, a little tip from me. You don’t have to send those long messages or find excuses as to why he hasn’t replied. They left for the reason because they’re just not that into you.
Someone who ghosts you already has the intention to ghost you in the first place. As hurtful as this may sound, you’ve just become a pastime for someone who just wanted to “have fun” and that’s not what you’re supposed to be. You’re supposed to be valued and loved by someone who chooses you every single time.