Meeting Her Parents For The First Time: Pro Tips
Dating is a wonderful thing, and while the relationship progresses, you reach a variety of milestones. Like being introduced to her friends, staying overnight, and that sometimes nerve-wracking question: “Would you like to meet my parents?”
And I bet that the most chilling and heart-racing experience is when you finally meet her parents the first time, and obviously, we want them to love us too.
And if you’re an overthinker like me, then you’ve probably thought of worst-case scenarios. Especially the known story about a guy who was meeting his girlfriend’s parents the first time, and halfway through dinner, he had to make a polite but urgent visit to the bathroom, and he was trying to flush it down the toilet, but to no avail, it just wouldn’t go. So he grabbed a bunch of tissues, stuck his hand in, and threw it out the window, and acted cool and composed to the lawn area, where the girl’s family had glared at him for the stool that he had thrown out of the window was right in the middle of the lawn where dinner was served.
Yikes. Now, that’s not the first impression we’d want and we don’t want to be that guy, am I right?
So why don’t we start talking about the dos and don’ts in meeting her parents for the first time to avoid any faux pas?
#1: Be on time! ⏰
It’s one of the most important milestones in your relationship and you don’t want to be the guy that makes her parents wait, right?
You have to plan everything beforehand.
I’m talking about, the clothes you wear, the time you leave, the routes you’re going to take, and even the amount of time you’re going to take to prepare.
Being on time shows that you’re responsible and considerate, and that is exactly the kind of guy her parents would want their daughter to continue seeing.
#2: Address them properly
Please don’t call them
“Mommy” or “daddy.”
“Homie” and whatnot
You do not want to be disrespectful, and if you don’t know what to call them exactly you can address them with a Mr. (Mister), or Sir, Mrs. (Misses), or Ma’am and add their last name.
If they’re not comfortable with such, they’re going to correct you and to tell you something otherwise.
#3: Bring a gift 🎁
Giving someone a gift when you’re visiting a house or meeting someone, for the first time is the most common yet much-appreciated gesture.
Now I’m not saying that you need to buy an expensive or personal gift, even if it’s just a bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates or any sweets, or wine if you’re the fancy type.
#4: Dress to impress/ Dress appropriately
I bet you’ve had also had that dream where you’re in your underwear in front of your classmates, your girlfriend’s parents, or even in public.
Now you wouldn’t want to wear a bikini when you’re going to a school function right?
Trying to find the right fit for the meet is quite stressful since you want to make sure you don’t look sloppy in front of her parents, so dress classy and appropriately.
#5: Genuinely get to know them
You want to spend a lifetime with this girl, am I right?
Then you really should also get to know the people in her life, most importantly, her parents.
Get to know their love story and what they want for their daughter, you’ll get to know a different side about your partner and also know her parents on a deeper level.
#6: Be attentive
Be aware of your body language, the things you are saying, and the actions that you are showing.
I know you’re going to get quite nervous because, in a situation like this, it feels like one wrong move can ultimately jeopardize your relationship.
I’m not trying to scare you. Really.
I just want to say that you have to bring out your BEST self, and communicate in a way that shows respect.
#1: Don’t slap your partner’s ass or her mom’s or even her dad’s
Oh God, please don’t do this.
This would possibly be the most disrespectful thing to do in someone else’s house, even if this isn’t the first time you’re meeting them.
And on a side note, please do not show too much PDA (public display of affection) in front of her parents or her family for that matter. It is quite uncomfortable for other people to see this.
Now I’m not saying I’m bitter, it’s just that - okay, imagine this. Your parents are making out in front of you being all touchy and acting as if you’re not there.
There is nothing wrong with showing affection, but you both have to tone it down when you’re in front of her family.
#2: Don’t do a number 2 in their bathroom
We would not want that story to happen to you.
So by all means, and with all due respect do not go to someone else’s house just to use the bathroom.
You might leave something unpleasant, and you wouldn’t want her family to clean up after you. Isn’t that a little embarrassing?
#3: Don’t use your phone around them
It’s quite disrespectful to use your phone around someone you’d want to have a conversation with.
Even if you’re a CEO or an on-call employee, you have to make sure that you scheduled it on a day off or on leave on the day you meet her parents. You wouldn’t want unnecessary and disturbing phone calls to distract the time you have with her family.
I mean if you were on a date with your girl and she’s constantly on the phone while you’re trying to tell her a really interesting story that happened at work. Wouldn’t it be draining to talk to someone who doesn’t seem like they want to talk to you?
#4: Don’t be a know-it-all
Even if your girl has prepared you with all the information that you need to know before meeting her parents, you should not, by all means, act as if you already know, because if you do then what do they have to talk about?
Still, be interested, and accepting of what they are telling you because it is coming directly from them.
If her parents are comfortable around you, they will also be able to tell you things about your girl that you don’t know about yet.
#5: Don’t forget your manners
Never forget your manners.
Like in Asian households, you have to take off your shoes before entering a house.
Even when eating at the dining table, you have to remember to chew with your mouth closed, not talk when you are eating to avoid spewing food, make sure that you are not buried in your plate or bowl, and remember to not push the utensils in your plate.
Dating and relationships are hard. Duh! All those rattling hormones and random hook-ups.
There are times when you mess up, can't figure out why your date is really there, or misread the signs.
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