No one is flawless, and therefore, no relationship will be without flaws. Regardless of who we end up with, there will be moments where being with them will be difficult; there will be fights and arguments. Our partners will have faults, and we either learn how to deal with our feelings or be unable to accept them and risk losing them.
How do we know that they’re the one?
Unfortunately, we don’t.
We don’t have a generalized checklist for THE ONE, nor is it as easy as finding the sum or finding Z in a mathematical equation.
If only it were easy to know, right?
I mean, according to the World Population Review, there are 7 billion people in the world, yet due to ill fate, we get into questionable relationships.
We were even in relationships where we thought they could be the one because we loved them, but what does it mean to find and be with the one?
There are a lot of different responses for everyone, and I believe that there really isn’t a general answer to this question.
But how about we start here?
As much as we want to be with someone we’ve just met, there are aspects about them we don’t know entirely about; I’m not just talking about their favorite color or TV show.
You should date someone and get to know them. Talk about your goals, dreams, and aspirations.
HOW WELL DO THEIR HANDLE DIFFICULT SITUATIONS?
Pay attention to how they handle their anger and frustration and how they handle difficult situations. For example, do they irrationally act on them, or do they communicate it well?
You don’t necessarily have to live with them - only when the time comes (maybe when you’re both ready and have a steady flowing income). You only have to spend more time with them to really know how they act around other people, from friends, family, and even waiters at the places you’re dining in.
Are they the type to get angry over something trivial? Like the wrong order, or being irritable towards you spending time with your friends?
Because often, we meet people where we are confined in our rooms most of the time due to them not allowing you to spend time with your friends or family?
Even if they show a pleasing and ecstatic personality during the talking or infatuation phase, how would they handle the hurdles you both might face? Especially when it comes to financial problems?
I mean, the first few dates and months of dating and getting to know someone might be the most heart thrilling yet scary experience. Being open and intimate can be quite scary, especially when you’ve already gone through so much in the past.
After everything you’ve gone through, with the accumulated stress and trauma, it doesn’t indicate that you will never be in a good relationship. Even couples who have dated for a couple of years are still trying to build and maintain a foundation while they mature, grow and reach their goals.
DOES HE SUPPORT YOUR GOALS?
Do their goals match with yours? Or are you compromising and lowering your own goals to match theirs?
There’s nothing wrong with compromising your own goals, but to the point where you’re lowering them or possibly losing them altogether would be quite alarming. Especially when you’ve built the foundation for these goals and have planned their way before you’ve met them would be a red flag.
DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT WITH A HEAVY HEART?
Now I’m not saying you will no longer have arguments when you’re in a relationship. What I’m saying is that when you enter a relationship, your partner will not accuse you of cheating or making you feel as if you’re not important to them.
Arguments are inevitable, but to the point where you cry every night because of your boyfriend? Isn’t that a sign that you’re not with someone who values you and isn’t mature enough to fix the bump in the relationship?
DOES HE SUPPORT YOUR GROWTH?
Why are we always ending up in relationships where we are standing still and drained?
Like everything around us is moving forward, yet we’re at a place where if we move, we’d be dragged back to where we were, drained or no longer happy. So instead, consider the energy they bring to the relationship and how it affects your energy levels and self-awareness. A healthy connection creates a pleasant and supportive environment.
I used to have this ex-boyfriend who kept telling me to “be who you are,” yet whenever I explained my goals and shared my achievements, he always said to me that I was “changing.”
I mean, who does that?
Isn’t a boyfriend or a partner supposed to congratulate you and celebrate your wins instead of someone who will look at you differently?
When you’re in a relationship, it is normal to have joint goals, but never disregard the individual progress you both have made. Because a partner will support and lift you while also growing with you towards the goals that you both have.
HE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND.
Before he is your partner, husband, or even boyfriend, the guy should be your best friend.
There must first be a strong and deeply established friendship between the two people involved for genuine love to exist. At the beginning of a relationship, physical attraction and chemistry are essential factors to consider.
It is what draws two people together and what you need in a relationship, but it should not be the most critical factor in its development. When your relationship’s sexual attraction and chemistry fades, it is your friendship that will keep your partnership together.
Having a partner who can be as supportive, empathetic, and listens to every rant, complaint and victory is already an indication that he could be the one!
Take it from me, if you have someone who is engaged and dedicated to you, would you want someone who doesn't care about how your day went or what you did this morning that made you frown?
You’re eventually going to find this lasting, companionable and harmonious relationship with someone, BUT it takes time. You also have to remember that you need to be capable of making compromises, and both of you need to be willing to